


Pull an Arrow, Not a Prank

by La_Saffron



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Implied Smut, LOL WHAT A JOKE, Multi, Nosebleed, Pranks, b r u h, naughty reader, tsk tsk, twin dragon slayers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7489275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Saffron/pseuds/La_Saffron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You pull arrows for a job...so, why not pull a prank? And who better to pull a prank on than the Twin Dragon Slayers themselves, eh? Ha ha, I didn't think so. Those dumbasses get jealous quicker than you can say, "Holy Vermillion"...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pull an Arrow, Not a Prank

You aimed your well-sharpened arrow at the unsuspecting blonde, who was sitting on a flattened rock. Next to him, another well-built man stood away from him, his ebony bangs waving in the wind.

You licked your lips. Here I come, you thought.

You pulled the arrow back silently, your feet balancing your body on the tree branch you perched on. You closed an eye for precision, holding your breath for the right moment.You needed him to lift his head up, just lift his head and you’d let go.

Come on, you pried inaudibly. Lift your damn head.

As if by magic, he lifted his head to say something to the ebony-haired man who seemed very solemn. Your lips curved upwards in a victorious grin. Your hand tightened on the curve of the bow.

Bingo.

You let your arrow loose.

You watched as it flew with a quick zoom towards the head of the blonde. You watched closely until something very wrong happened. The man caught the arrow with a sharp swipe of his hand right before the sharp tip hit his nose.

You grit your teeth in frustration as he began to smirk and chomped on the iron arrow almost eagerly. The sound of crunching iron increased your anger and you didn’t think you could hold yourself back from your hiding spot anymore.

You leapt down from the tree, stomping over to the two men. The blonde man calmly gazed up at you, his cerulean eyes practically swimming with cockiness. “Well, look who finally decided to arrive, Rogue.” he munched on the last remains of the arrow. “It’s a girl.”

Rogue turned to look at you, his rare smile suddenly showing through his cheekbones. “Hmm. And a wizard no less.”

You threw your arrow down and stomped your foot in ultimate fury. “I HATE YOU BOTH!!!!!!” you screamed in their faces, their hair blowing backwards from your scream.

A maroon Exceed popped up from behind your calves. He waved his paws excitedly. “Aw, don’t worry, (Name)! You’ll aim better next time, ‘kay? You got this in the bag.” He exclaimed confidently.

Another frog-looking Exceed with a pink onesuit and a cheerful smile bumped up from behind your other calve. “Yeah. Fro thinks you can do it, so you can do it, too!”

You glanced down at the two cats and softened your glare. You knelt and ran your fingers through their fur appreciatively. “Thanks, guys. Unfortunately, I have to deal with two annoying Twin Dragon Slayers to exercise my skills on.” With that last statement, you looked up to frown at the two smiling wizards.

Sting shrugged casually. “Well, if ya wanna be good at archery, then ya gotta pump it up a bit.”

You stood. “Meaning?”

Rogue lowered his lids peacefully. “Meaning you should focus more on your target than the reason for the target.”

You threw your hands up in exasperation. “Once again, I drown in Rogue’s daily words of wisdom that no one can decipher.”

He blushed a bit and frowned to cover it. “What’s that supposed to mean?!” He waved a fist at you.

Sting laughed. “True facts right there.”

You plopped yourself in Sting’s lap and slung an arm over his broad shoulders. You rubbed an eye tiredly. “Well, you two got me exhausted. I think I’ll go home, take a nice long bath, and sleep.”

Sting gave you an unimpressed look. “Really? Just how lazy have you gotten over the past month?”

You yawned. “Very lazy.”

Rogue crossed his arms. “When’s the last time you were on a job?”

You scrunched your eyebrows, which Rogue found kinda adorable. “Hmm. I think my last request took place about...a month ago.”

“A month ago.”

“Yep.”

Silence.

“Do you realize the severity of the situation, Miss (Name)?”

“No, Master Eucliffe.”

Rogue deepened his frown. “How do you make money, then?”

You smiled secretively. They didn’t know what you did for a job besides for wizardry. Yet. Now was the perfect time to play a nice prank on them. All you needed was the perfect reaction.

“Oh, I work weekends as a generous woman giving males satisfaction for their, ah, needs.” You examined your cuticles casually. Your heart beat rapidly as you just described an illegal hobby and an extremely embarrassing, not to mention sexual, job.

Sting pushed your torso around to face him. You could see a pink complexion rising to his cheeks, but that didn’t hide the shock written over his handsome features. Rogue had dropped his crossed arms in disbelief and his mouth hung open with a blush kissing his cheeks as well.

The Exceeds’ reaction was a bit different. Lector was stuttering, but Frosch smiled obliviously, a question mark floating above his head curiously. 

“WHAT?!”

Sting’s cerulean eyes were wide with shock and there was another emotion settling there, was it disgust? No, it was deeper than that. Hope? Embarrassment? Rogue’s expression was the same, but his face was colored with a deep red hue, making his cheeks shadowed (no pun intended) with a magenta shade.

You closed your eyes and smiled pleased. “Yep.”

Your childhood friend shifted below you. “Are you for real?”

You opened one eye, indicating a wink. “What? You wanna come over for a night?” You poked his open abdominal muscles half-jokingly. “You give me a five, your friend gets a high-five.”

You laughed at your last comment. You were so dirty, it surprised you. You could only guess that it came from all the smut you’ve read during your pubescent period. Sting’s blush deepened. Then, Rogue tried to frown.

“Wha-what the hell, (Name)?” Rogue stuttered. “What’s gotten into you?”

You smiled at your other best friend, your eyes lidded. “What? You want some?” your voice sultry. The Shadow Dragon Slayer swallowed nervously. This wasn’t going to end well. His Exceed partner had no clue what was going on.

The frog-like Exceed smiled obliviously. “I want some, too!” he squeaked excitedly at you. You looked down and grinned. Rogue made a move to reach for Frosch, but restrained himself. 

You slipped from Sting’s lap, not noticing the slightly raised lump from which you sat previously, and crouched to engulf the cat in a tight loving hug. “Oh, Frosch! You wanna come with (Name) to get some?”

“NO!” Rogue called out, but bit his lip after crying out protectively.

You turned to Rogue, ignoring Sting, who was trying to cross his legs as casually as he could without too much attention. Your eyes traveled up and down his built, but well-hidden, body. Yes, your plan to make him nervous was working. Your prank was turning out better than you expected.

“S-stop looking at me like that!” He backed away a little bit, but made no move to run.

“Why?” You crossed your legs, hiking your slitted robe higher than necessary. Frosch sat in your arms, smiling away. “Rogue, are you okay?”

He clenched his fists to keep him from melting on the spot. Being infatuated with you since teenagehood was bad enough, but he had done a good job in hiding it from anyone. However, since all of you were now adults, it was easier to succumb to your devilish ways.

He shut his visible eye. “No...I’m fine.” He heard Sting shift uncomfortably. Rogue opened his red eyes to peek at his friend. His eye widened a bit at what he saw. 

The blonde was crossing his legs and sucking in his lips in a struggle to contain his...oh, no. Not him, too. Sting was also attracted to you?! Damn, just his luck. You stared at the Twin Dragon Slayers. You knew what was crossing their heads and you silently laughed.

Those idiots had no idea what was coming to them.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Chloe, remember to clean your mess that you made in my room last night.” you chided your roommate while digging in your closet for a suitable enough outfit to wear for the raging heat that threatened anyone that stepped into it outside.

The fiery redhead laughed dismissively at you from the door that adjoined your separate rooms in the main dorm of Sabertooth’s guild for women. “Please, I never forget to clean, (Name). Ya know me, I’m a total neat freak.”

You glanced out of your walk-in closet to scan the bomb-like mess that enveloped your room due to Chloe’s touch. “Uh huh, right.”

She scoffed. “You worry too much.”

You rolled your eyes as you trailed back to your rather neat wardrobe. Your mind drifted to the night before when you and Chloe had a drunk party in your room, trying on Chloe’s sexual outfits and goofing around with your arrows.

Needless to say, your weren’t all too proud that you pretended to use your arrows as dildos while Chloe tried to pole dance with your iron bow (she nearly snapped her neck while doing so).

An image of Sting and Rogue came to your mind when you thought about your embarrassing act last night. You wondered if a week was too much for the prank that you kept alive for the Twin Dragon Slayers.

You had Chloe’s name on your phone changed to ‘My Hot Client’ and had her send you suspicious texts about ‘coming’ to work and ‘doing’ your job. It would be simple: you would leave your phone out on your bed, the boys would come over at noon (they always do), see your texts, and freak out.

You smiled as you fished out a light and slightly revealing robe for horseback riding later today. Yes, that’ll do. But you needed Chloe to clean your room before locking her door for the day.

“Clo?” you called distantly. No answer.

You glanced towards the door that connected your rooms and your heart nearly stopped. It was closed. That’s okay, she’s probably just changing, a part of you thought.

You slipped on your robe and fitted your weapons to your torso quickly. As you slipped on your sandals, you hopped on a bare foot to the door and jiggled the handle with a free hand.

It was locked.

Shit.

Shit.  
Shitshitshitshit.

Double shit.

You sighed. You were so tired of her crap that you didn’t even have the strength to be upset. As you turned around, you heard a crumple under you. You glanced down and saw a small note beneath your feet.

Picking it up, you quickly skimmed it before groaning.

Dearest RainBow (her nickname for you),

Sorry for le mess, I’ll clean it when I’m back. DUH lol. I’m going out with Matt for today, which means you know what… ;)

I’ll pick up the suit I left in your room tonight. It’s a rental, so don’t try anything funny til ya launder it.

Love,  
Your Red Headed Gal

The frick? How did she even write a note that fast? You shook your head and didn’t even bother to look back at the mess as you stuffed the annoying note in your breast pocket and locked your door, completely forgetting you had visitors later that day…

 

Sting must’ve knocked at least 20 times and loudly. Rogue stopped him the 21st time and replied that it was useless to knock, especially if neighbors came out and yelled at the two.

Lector scratched his ear with a maroon paw. “Hey, guys, I don’t think she’s home.”

Sting crossed his arms stubbornly. “Nah, she’s gotta be home. She said so herself, ‘I’ll be home, okay? Just knock lightly, ‘kay? My roommate is a gentle sleeper blah blah blah.’ ”

Rogue frowned a signature grimace. “She has a roommate?”

“Yeah!” Frosch smiled giddily and lifted his paws. “Her name is Chloe, I think!”

Lector snapped. “Yeah, that’s her! Chloe! (Name) mentioned her once.”

Rogue looked slightly relieved, but as soon as Sting looked his way, he slipped into a stoic expression. “Right… maybe this Chloe is home?”

Sting looked at the door that hadn’t been answered. “We should break it down.”

“Excuse me?”

The blonde balled his fists and got into a ready punching stance. “Come one, I’ll do it nice and easy. No one will hear.”

He was stopped by Rogue’s quick move to grip his arm. “Are you insane? Don’t answer that. You are. What do you think her neighbors have been yelling at us for the past half hour?”

Sting smirked and lowered his fists. “Okay.”

He inhaled quickly and before Rogue could say, ‘Chewbacca’, Sting blew a stream of light towards the door, disintegrating the doorframe into a steaming circle. Rogue stood open-mouthed at the door while Frosch cheered obliviously and Lector simply shook his head amusingly.

Sting stood tall and gestured to the destroyed wall in pride. “See?”

Rogue slapped him upside the head. “Idiot! What are we gonna tell (Name)?!”

Sting rubbed his head. “Dunno...it’s not that bad...is it?”

His partner groaned and stepped in the circle cautiously. Lector caught Sting’s confused glance and they shared a shrug before stepping inside. The room was a mess, but not due to Sting’s blow. It was previously ruined by someone very irresponsible.

“Looks like someone had a party in here.” Sting commented as he scanned the room. Rogue looked confused. “Yes… it’s not like (Name) to simply leave her room in such a state before leaving to…”

The partners shared a glance with wide eyes. “Do you think…?”

Sting swallowed hard. It was becoming difficult to control himself. “Yeah…”

“Why would she do something so low like that, though?” Rogue mused. “That’s definitely not her last option…”

“And it will never be her first,” Sting stood, an angry expression crossing his features. “Someone must’ve forced her to do this.”

“No. She seemed very serious about it. (Name) doesn’t joke about this sort of thing.”

As the Twin Dragons argued about your mysterious job, Lector found something he wished he didn’t. Sweat drops flowed down his fur, wetting it. “Uh, Sting?” He found it difficult to control his voice box.

Curious, the boys came to the Exceed’s location near the rustled sheets of your bed where your phone lay unlocked and another object splayed itself out on your sheets…

A crimson color came to decorate the Dragon Slayers’ cheeks traveling up to their forehead and behind their nape. “Is...is that--”

“Oh my God…” Sting exhaled breathlessly, covering his mouth to control himself.

Chloe’s sexy black one piece was laying on the tousled sheets, the straps laid in a position that made it look like someone had just used it and laid it out to picture it on a body. He could almost imagine…

But wait.

Rogue…

Sting turned to glance at the ebony-haired man, but he nearly choked at what he saw. He had rich red running down his chiseled face from his nostril as his eyes went blank at the sight before him. The Shadow Dragon Slayer was nosebleeding.

“You’re...you...holy God, Rogue…” Sting began to laugh with occasional snorts. “You dumbass…”

Rogue embarrassingly wiped away the blood but could not remove his eyes from the outfit. “Why--why does she have that?” He pointed cautiously to the outfit as if it were a deadly disease or a ferocious animal that threatened to pounce.

Sting returned his attention to the rather kinky clothing and tried to keep his thoughts straight. You weren’t someone that took sexual topics lightly, unless some mothafucka fed you wine. Even so, you weren’t talking drunk when you first notified Master Eucliffe of your “job” and you seemed to like your life as a prostitute.

“Maybe she left it here by accident?”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?!”

Their shouts were quieted by a green frog-like cat who shouted, “Hey! It’s a weird glowing box! And it has funny words, too!”

The mages paused their conversation abruptly to glance down at the Exceed waving a phone at their calves excitedly. Rogue cautiously knelt down and retrieved the phone from his paws and slowly stood where Sting read over his shoulder.

After reading a few not-so-subtle dirty jokes between you and the contact called “My Hot Client”, Rogue threw down the phone while it was Sting’s turn to nosebleed profusely. “I don’t care what her job is, but I’m finding this punk and beating his ass to a pulp.”

Sting turned and wiped his nose using the tissue Lector offered him, still a bit stunned by that fact that a once innocent you was suddenly into kinks and stuff like that. “Yeah, I’ll take that pulp and mix it with my daily drink.”

Even though the two were unsaid rivals for you, they locked murderous eyes and came to a silent agreement: 

Your “Hot Client” must die.

 

You trailed home covered in sweat that glistened over your neck and shoulders as you let down a dress strap to inevitably cool yourself off when you entered the air-conditioned dorm. You wearily greeted the lobby boy, who offered to escort you to your room, to which you kindly denied.

Not wanting to climb treacherous stairs, you pulled out a rope-like arrow and shot it precisely at your floor. The arrow tugged and you shot forward into the air until your feet landed in front of the hall.

You paused and sniffed the air.

You smelled a familiar burning smell. You ran forward, fearing the worst. Your fears were confirmed as you came to what used to be your doorway was now a steaming hole through the doorframe.

You frowned. Someone was inside and you knew you had company that was a level less than deadly. Stepping inside the crater, you called out a brief, “Hello?” before someone sniffed.

A light turned on to reveal Sting and Rogue sitting on her tousled sheets before realizing that one of them held a phone in their hands, as if they were in the middle of reading it. The Exceeds were nowhere in sight; they must’ve been excused back to the safety of the guild.

You stayed silent before dropping your weapons at your feet. “Hey, guys. What’s up?” you started off casually.

Rogue wouldn’t answer you and instead penetrating you with a strong one-eyed gaze. You swallowed. “What happened? And why is my door missing?”

“We broke in.” Sting replied coldly before looking up at you from the phone. He stood, revealing a very sexy outfit that belonged to a certain roommate of yours that he sat on to conceal. 

“Oh…” you stared hard. “You found it, didn’t you?”

You didn’t mean for it come out that way, but for some reason you felt the need to continue your little prank. You smiled embarrassingly at them, making a blush appear on your already-flushed cheeks.

You felt your torso sense a breeze on your shoulder. Oh right, your robe strap. You had loosened it earlier to cool yourself. Inevitably, it would help you with what you would do further with your prank.

You slid your eyelids lower and chuckled lowly. “Well, I just came back from work, so who says a little extra wouldn’t cost me my effort.” You waited for the blushes and stammers, and meanwhile shifted your shoulders around to loosen another strap of your dress before letting your hair loose from its signature do.

Sting’s blue eyes widened as he dropped the phone in surprise and Rogue did the same, both of them backing up simultaneously. “N-no, we didn’t--that’s really--(Name), you---”

As you stalked towards them, you shed your belt and sighed dramatically, rolling your eyes. “Ah, men. They never know what they really want, do they? But as soon as a woman offers their desires to be satisfied, they fly into a stuttering mess.”

Suddenly, they fell back onto your bed as their calves had hit the bed post and their feet hug in the air for a second or two before they scrambled to support themselves in a better position. Rogue’s black cape tore at the hem, but he barely noticed and to be honest, he didn’t think he was really concerned at the moment.

“Gah!” Sting let out a vulnerable squeak, an unusual and rare sound. “(Name), we didn’t come for your--”

“My job, eh?” you finished before kicking off your sandals and climbing onto the bed, straddling one of two thighs that happened to be in the middle. “You guys never visit me without the Exceeds. Where are they now, hmm?”

You sat on two knees, resting your right hand on Rogue’s waist and slowly trailed up his chest with lingering fingers. He swallowed audibly, another rare sight to behold. So, he’s not answering sensibly any time soon. 

You turned to the blonde. “Master…?” you drawled out a bit too seductively, but you felt something harden. Oh, good. It’s working better than you thought. Just don’t cross the line, you told yourself.

You lidded your eyelashes, but something just didn’t feel right. What if they really thought you were just a whore? Where would your reputation go then? No, you couldn’t. You had to tell these idiots the truth.

 

You sighed and dropped your head, slowly pulling back from the mages’ thighs and settling onto your shins. The two Dragon Slayers glanced at each other momentarily before bringing themselves up to a normal sitting position in front of you.

Sting blinked, like he couldn’t believe what just happened. “Uh..ahem, what’s--what’s wrong?”

You almost snorted. He sounded like a puppy whose bone was crushed before its eyes. “Nothing. I just have something to confess.”

Confused looks. “Confess? Confess what?”

You exhaled, almost exasperated at their stupidity. “I’m not really a prostitute.”

“WHOA!” Sting lifted his gloved hands and widened his eyes in surrender. “I did not say that!”

You laughed quietly. “Yeah, I know, dumb-dumb. I mean, I pulled your leg.”

“On what?” Rogue asked, clearly a bit shocked at your explicit language of the mentioned profession. But the more he thought about your words, the more it made sense. “You pranked us, didn’t you?”

You smiled weakly. “Surprise?”

Sting burst into peals of laughter. “Wow! You really got me there, yo! I was a bit, ya know..”

“Scared.” Rogue finished with a small smile. You returned the expression.

“That suit, um.” You reached under Rogue, making him release a small squeak, and tugged the sexy outfit of Chloe. “This, is my roommate’s.”

Sting’s mouth formed a small “O” as the realization, and misunderstanding, sunk in. But Rogue wasn’t finished. “Oh, by the way, who is “My Hot Client”?”

You laughed until you could barely breathe. The Shadow Dragon Slayer waited patiently for you to settle down and answer his burning question. Yes, he was jealous, but not that extreme, right?

“My roommate.”

Oh.

You reached out and gently cupped the two beautiful faces you inevitably fell for along the way of your crazy journey with them. You lightly pecked each pair of lips, earning a soft melt from each owner.

You stepped back to look at their faces. “I really love you both.”

Sting opened his mouth to say something, but Rogue beat him to it. “So do we.”

You smiled brightly and ran to envelop your new boyfriends in a warm, emotional embrace. Two pairs of strong arms secured your safety and ensurance of love as they hugged you back. Ah, what a beautiful day for a prank.  
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Extended Ending~

Sting: So, you gonna wear that bad baby for us, or no?

Reader: …….

**Author's Note:**

> LOL see what I did there? I made an arrow!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH ok I'll leave now


End file.
